plans for tonight: dress up like pirates, drink a bottle of mad dog and watch the sorostitues across the street get naked. and yes, the mad dog part is already in play. hurry the fuck up. i look like a loser doing this alone.
i'm really high, and this is sooooooooooo important. how many frosties does it take to fill a bathtub?
Instead of a promise ring i got my clit peirced, its a promise that ill always give you ass! =]
Measuring your booze intake in glasses is like measuring Rosie O'Donnell's weight in ounces.
well the hot one passed out so thats that, but then the fat one made chicken nuggets....totally worth it
I woke up and blew hamburger out my nose. That kinda night.
great idea involving lots of fake blood and face paint, call me tomorrow.
Whoever put the picture of my dad in the condom box is an asshole
Why is it so hot and why are these the only pants in my life.
PLAN B IS EXPENSIVE ON A $50 A WEEK BUDGET.
They have some sort of agreement that they can sleep with other people if it helps then achieve their goal, or something like that
How awkward
Yeah it's pretty fucked up
FACE TIME HER WHILE YOU GUYS BANG
He came to my Harry Potter marathon wearing a Hogwarts uniform. Of course I fucked him.
shut up and let me use my vagina as a weapon of self destruction in peace!
I promise not to pretend to be Jesus and take the wheel. But to my credit you shouldn't be saying that while I'm that drunk and we are in a car.
Randomize
