Ehh boy. FML. she was unattractively large.
He uses pillows to masturbate.
I overheard a kid saying to his mom at Walmart: "Mommy.. should we buy cups for daddy's spit?"
Let's roleplay tonight. I'll be drunken diva and you be sexy sober.
IF that's your way of making me dd then count me out.
I hate thxgiving break now because that totally means I'm not able to have sex for a week.
the only thing i can think of after seeing avatar is "when are they gonna make avatar porn?"
Dreamed I made out with a stranger after falling out of a car, let's make this happen tonight.
Dude, it's the frankincense and myrrh soap. Smelling like baby Jesus will get you laid.
I wonder if her husband knows I have my own drawer at the apartment
I love you so must. You as do fraty. You are truly my veste breakable (ties I wtf racket Andover). Luce you. Have a safe drive bio dough failover.
She took a six hour road trip with me so I could have revenge sex with my ex's brother. That is the definition of a best friend.
Naw but when she was in the bathroom I threw the condom out the window and I'm pretty sure it hit some girl
Okay. So did I kiss you last night? I know that I made out with someone. Or a few someones. But I'm pretty sure that I made out with you. Was that real life?
At about 2:30 i found you passed out in my closet with your face covered in cheese whiz
We need to get walkie talkies for when we're drunk so if we are at different parties or lost we can talk
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