I'm in a strip club that reminds me of a crack house from the 80's.
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
did he really ask u insert a warm banna in ur anal?
I am in the checkout line at the dollar store and there is a guy in front of me holding a pregnancy test, a chocolate bar, and fake roses. Champion.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
i just remembered i chipped my tooth last night when i pulled up your pants zipper with my teeth
THEY WONT LEYT ME IN AND I REALLY NEED SOME FRUIT
Last comment. I know of no exercises, diets or practices out there to help keeping balls young and healthy. They simply succumb to gravity.
She literally got down on all fours and I swear did a 360 degrees head rotation exorcist barf...and then moaned IT WAS THE TACO BEEEELLLLLL
so no, not her best night
The goal for tonight is vagina. In and around. Doesn't matter who. How. Or why.
I am currently watching him baptize himself in a baby pool with a handle of belvedere while wearing a coral dress.
I want to have sex with him.
May the one with the liver that just won't quit win
You cant come. You're a Colorado native who drinks Bud over Coors. Fucking homegrown terrorist.
I fell asleep masterbating while watching family guy... This is what happens when girl's night gets canceled
I went to the strip club tonight. I had never gone, and in a panic I gave the dancer giving me a lap dance a handshake and introduced myself. Redefines business casual.
Randomize
