The is a pregnant woman in this Chipolte wearing a shirt that simply says ‘OOPS!’ across the tummy.
That baby is bound to be under-loved.
I should have known there'd be issues when he included "beautiful soul" in our playlist
do people really wait til 5 oclock to start drinking in real life?
I didnt shave my beard last night, so I could feel it while Im shrooming today
I'm proud of our boobs and what they could potentially achieve in life.
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
It involved homemade coconut rum, a waterfall, and street signs. I'll leave the rest to your capable imagination.
I think a 5 ft pyramid of jello shots in honor of the egyptians is in order
My roommate is either deadlifting a bus or having sex. I can't tell which
I'm turning twenty & the only honorable way to exit my teens is by slapping the fuck outta the bag. You better be in.
His balls are like really small, like dog sized balls. It was a weird discovery. Ever done a guy with dog sized balls?
Woah don't start going all boyfriend on me now, you're here for one thing and one thing only and that's sex, hot shameless sex.
As we were walking to her place she stole a pizza from the delivery guy's car and when we got home she grabbed a slice, two beers, removed her pants, and said "call of duty?" im going to marry her
The FEDEX guy just cock blocked me by getting his van stuck in my driveway
I apparently ooze single. The second I left his house after break up sex five of my old booty calls text me
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