I just broke up with my girlfriend lets go find strippers that need rent money.
At some point last night I thought pissing in a bottle was an awesome idea when I woke up a little piss was actually in the bottle a lot was on my TV remote
Sooo, his balls are like... bigger than my head...
It's like sleeping with someone you met at a karaoke bar. It's never okay.
We all need desperate help. Maybe we should just become a group of people who walk around town and shit in peoples air vents
I'm down.
you should buy a sheep. A) you get an awesome pet. B) free coat
ok this is the part where i go up stairs and pass out incoherently untill 6 30 tommaorw morning and not rember any of this. love youuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuuu!
She came over and gave me a handy and then just lingered for a day and a half. Worst weekend ever.
I can't believe you're trying to guilt me into a blow j because a tornado made you homeless.
Is it working?
No, this place just freaks me out. Like I feel like ill get pregnant just being here. And all those pregnant bellies. It's weird.
The cop said he like my hair today. Please explain all other interactions with law enforcement, k thanks
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
Woke up next to a half eaten Philly Cheesesteak. Honestly probably one of the top 3 things I've ever woken up next to.
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
It was a fun night. I made out with the door guy at the gay bar but he didn't speak english
There was no door guy at the bar
Randomize
