This is clearly one of those "A hole's a hole" situations
I just five second ruled a donut I dropped at starbucks, everyones staring
I think he just gave me the 'I used to fuck your sister' discount
We need to stop sleeping with people based on which NFL team they like.
I thought you just gave him blowjobs and he criticized your drug use.
Hey, this is a mass text. I have a hospital bill from November, and I don't know from what. Did anyone bring me to the hospital on a drunken night that I don't remember...?
You picked a jagger girl up claimed her then walked out the door with her that was the last we saw of you
I miss you too. And it was nice meeting your brother while I was mounting you
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
Drunkenly making hamburger helper. I just whispered "I can't wait to have you in my mouth."
My mother is even happier about me having a sugar daddy than I am
I maxed out my credit card last night on powdered donuts and beef jerky
You know shit got weird when you watched another guy shove drugs up your wife's ass and it wasn't awkward for any of us....
a girl walked up to me and asked if you were my brother. she shook her head and said 'im so sorry' when i said yes. what did you fucking do????????
So today was the first day i've been sober since Wednesday according to my roommate!
Randomize
