I wonder if you could grow some weed in a chia pet
Finished drinking tea out of a red party cup when I was done I flipped it without even thinking
it's great music for shaving your balls
Just found puke on my backpack while sitting in class. It's like this weekend won't leave me alone.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
My dream had 1 penis and 2 pizzas in it. Priorities?
i sent you a picture of beads you send me a picture of boobs how hard is this to understand
Yelling back at the people on Jerry springer through the TV, and eventually punching it. Failure of a night.
No memories of receiving this. Or of getting home. Or of apparently developing a taste for marmalade, which I assume is yours because I have literally never eaten it before. It's all over the kitchen. And my phone. And in my hair. Oh god I wish I wasn't on the train to work. X And sorry about the kitchen x
I sobered up and saw I was with the fat one and you had left laughing with the hot one. You're a terrible wingman, but an excellent manipulator
Come back I feel like I ticking time bomb of
of drugs
There's a guy here who is improvising his own shadow dance on a table against the wall, in case you're wondering how my night is going
You ran into the tattoo shop screaming PIERCE MY TITIES
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
anything below 65° is too cold to be naked on a roof
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