I've been thinking about all the girls in my life in terms of applying to college.
Huh?
I guess what im trying to say is that your my safety school.
mom asked me why i'm never sober at family events, i told her i learned it from her.
Currently bar hopping with 30 Navy SEALS. I know i'm safe but damn its hard to pick up chicks when you feel like a big pussy.
I'm one shot of soco 100 away from fucking a mailbox
It's all fun and games until you throw up hot cheetos in your drawer.
Just for future reference, me asking if you're free, followed by a winking face is not my way of suggesting a tandem bike ride.
Three Architectural classes: $990.00 Architectural supplies: $300.00 Changing majors and using my architectural supplies to roll blunts: Priceless
Hey, met you at the bar last night. You probably dont remember my name. You and your friends came back to my place, you shattered my window with your fist then dipped. Your gonna need to pay for that.
Thats where this cut came from! Thanks for piecing together the puzzle dude.
I just threw up 34 cents. What in god's name did we do last night?
He knocked me in the face with the phone during my light show. Didn't even feel it. Ecstasy is amazing
We went from him going down on me to swapping baby pictures of our moms.
I dont know if hes kidding... but hes drunk and said hes going to shave his balls. Alert your emt friends
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
It's sunday night and I just went to the store to buy cookie dough and condoms, I'm so proud of myself.
hey sweets how's ur crotch today?
Randomize
