She just asked to stimulate my prostate, man law requires you come pick me up
Apparently you walked through my house with your dress on your head
YOURE GIVING A BLOW JOB TO THE BOY WHO SAYS "OH SNAP"
i just looked up and i was like omg ballsack and then i didnt know what to do
this dude just took some girl under your house for half an hour. you may have helped a 17 year old fuck on the beach for the first time. congrats.
theres 5 guys on the side of the road with beads and their shirts off screaming at cars already.
She told me my pubes were as soft as "fine wool"
We made a bet that we had to talk like Yoda all night at the bars
Posh spice and Baby spice both in one night. Fantasy complete. God bless halloween.
Well, when you bump into your parents at a swingers meetup, it's time to change cities
Found a piece of twizzler in my buttcrack.
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
My law teacher drew an elephant on the board in class. I was so high that I laughed for 5 minutes straight. Nobody else laughed and everyone stared. 130 people knew I was high.
If I hear the phrase 'these unprecedented times' one more time I'm putting my foot up someone's ass.
Randomize
