Did you see 7 ppl got hurt at Talladaga?
Did they get their mullets stuck in an engine?
i want to find a way to basically assault his face with my vagina.
At least I know she didn't hear me crawl to my room. Or did I walk on my hands? Fuck if I know.
He did plead exhaustion. And I made him push through it. I am like the motherfucking badass football coach of sex.
Also got home. Still stoned. Mom was up. We made a pizza and were writing a children's book. Sleep good.
You can drink as much as you want but it's not gunna make her forehead any smaller
I was hoping it might at least fix her teeth
I feel like every picture I upload of him on facebook where you can see his purity ring, I should make the caption "something in this picture does not belong"
I'm sorry for biting your husband's ass last night.
On Friday, can we drink like its Civil Wars times and the doctor's coming to saw off our gangreen infected legs?
Is it bad that I coached my cousins 6 year old boy to steal a 30 rack of keystone out of an unattended cooler at our family reunion, or was I just giving him a social head start in high school? I err on the side of awesome.
Happy Father's Day to the first man I called Daddy while cumming.
He offered to dress his dick up as Charlie Chaplin to cheer me up.
Keep him.
ill let you put your finger in a lot of things. but a ring is not one of them.
The police officer that arrested me Friday night just bought me a shot
if my 20s were a chapter in my autobiography, it would be called "the room is spinning and my hands smell like dick"
Randomize
