i wonder how he feels talking to my mother about jesus with a condom on his dick
Then I opened the closet and then i found the babies
Chicago was legit, ate some badass pizza and gave a cig to a crackhead..its all i thought it would be
She said I came to for a minute, shouted IHOP!! and then shook my head and said no before passing out again
Who ate shrimp cocktail in my bathroom last night?
I woke up in solitary confinement, wheb they moved me the guy that sold me the pill of Molly at the concert was in the police waiting room, we nodded to each other.
I petted my head, told my hair it felt beautiful and needed to be let free. Then pulled out my pony tail. Cheers to weed. I lose.
Bitch guess who just got a fucking taser
Okay I'm ready to show you that my weiner still works
Too late, I'm convinced it's broken
Don't be weirded out, but my bondage straps are made of my ex boyfriend's curtains
It felt like I was on painkillers mixed with Molly mixed with the sinking feeling I'll die alone. 10/10 doing again.
He told me he loved me...but added "you crazy bitch" at the end. Does it still count???
well at least you got laid last nighT. I woke up on a pile of laundry
I would climb him like a jungle gym. Enthusiastically and creatively.
Grandpa just whipped it out and started pissing on the way to the game stuck in traffic. I saw EVERYTHING. :(
Randomize
