how come the more i say "don't get it in my eyes," the more gets in my eyes
I wanna be on tlc
Impossible. You are neither fat, fertile or fashionless.
its impossible for me to find something that fits my tits my muffin top and my ass all at the same time
The cop told me to answer for everyone if there was drinking involved and then i threw up in my Luigi's italian ice that i was eating with a pizza slicer
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
put me on a leash or i'm going to fuck someone
He kept pouting and saying i cockblocked him and I kept yelling "I'm sorry...but the cock was never out to be blocked"
I ate cinnamon toast crunch. I'm officially out of the puke zone. Blackout drunk Friday. WHAT IS GOOD.
I drove your lawn mower home. Hope you don't need it tonight. I'll bring it over tomorrow.
hey now, it was 6 bucks for 5 shots. you would have lost your panties too.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Finally had sex in the new kitchen. Burnt the hamburgers and hit myself in the face with the freezer door. Worth it.
should i save it for someone special or be a feminist and be like "my vagina doesnt define me"
Don't worry, I'm sure your thrusting skills are on point.
This dude is trying to sext and all I can think about is taco bell and their new crunch wrap sliders
Do you remember the guy that smelled like hot dogs?
Did you really eat 10 ice cream cones today?
It was tough but I powered through it.
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