I swear to god Optimus Prime and Megatron are fighting in my head right now.
I think, one-on-one, Paul Rudd could be very threatening in like a REALLY good way.
If lil wayne asked you to lick him like a lollipop I feel that you would willingly oblige.
Unfortunately I think I would lick most anyone's lollipop.
It's your form of community service; servicing the greater SDSU area.
i think of them as a grilled chicken salad and a fried chicken biscuit. obviously Amy is better for me, but when i'm eating her all i can think about is how much better the blonde must taste.
All the walks of shame were condensed into the hour before parents started showing up. Move out day is so bittersweet
Got hereat 8. Had 6 beers 2 shots and a game of diZZY BATOS
ugh... I can't wait for campus to get back. Then everyone will have other things to try to have sex with besides me.
Know of anyone who would be interested in trading weed for meatballs?
HOW LONG TILL THESE DRUGS WEAR OFF. I WORK IN ONE HOUR, I REPEAT, I WORK IN ONE HOUR.
YOU'RE CHANGING THE SUBJECT. I CAN BLOW SOMETHING UP OR I CAN TELL HIM YOU LOVE HIM, BUT ONE OF THE TWO IS BOUND TO HAPPEN
The boys wrestled in the living room for the last condom while the girls chanted, "THE LAST MELON."
My house smells like bleach. Also, I do not feel bad about all the stuff I stole from the hospital while I was there.
I'm now having weird sexual fantasies about that riverdancing figure skater. So thanks for that.
I was a bouncer for about 90 seconds until the real bouncers figured out that I was doing their job
I told my therapist about the other night and he actually whistled and said "wow that is not good."
Randomize
