Well the bottom line is that I had to completely coat my testicles in Neosporin.
Promise me that if I become one of those sad people that facebook pesters you to 'reconnect with' you'll tell me so I can delete mine and save myself the humiliation?
consequently i now know what mace tastes like
He invited you over for Super Sexy Saturday and Cosmos... I'm pretty sure that's gay
he told me my vagina was like a beautiful piece of salami
I come back home for break and my room is full of weed either my parents really love me or they are having more fun then I am in college
Ahahhahaha I'm not that stupid but then again I thought cabo was in Africa until yesterday
I apparently made a "health and fitness" subcatagory called "drugs" on mint at some point. I used it to catagorize all of my nyc atm withdrawls for $60 haha
im in the post action - pre consequence stage.
I think we need to stage an Intervention. Her Instagram is a call for help.
Sorry. My phone died in the middle of you explaining why we would never work as a couple. Whatever you were gonna say, I probably agree.
Should I have spent my entire pay check on Crown Royal and LSD? No. Do I regret it? Also, no.
I ain't lettin her quit anyway. We don't fuck enough for her to meet the housewife requirements
How do u explain to your grandma that your relationship status is hooking up with randoms at a bar
You just kept mumbling about the carpet being covered in stains that looked like the face of God. Until you decided that they were closer in relation to Dumbledore.
Randomize
