omg he said he wants to insert his penis into my vagnia what do i say
tell him to stop quoting family guy
I asked her if she had any t-shirts of bands that didn't suck. I got a Sublime shirt and my answer.
My dad walked in on me masturbating in my own apartment.....my own apartment!!
We're cuddling on the couch that me and his brother had sex on...this feels wrong
Level of drunkenness: just now when I sat down on the toilet, I had to double check to make sure I wasn't sitting on somebody's lap.
I kinda remember trying to staple rolls of toilet paper to make a pillow, but it's blank after that.
There were penises being pulled out everywhere.
He straight up just had me drive all the way here and when I got here he was drinking a cup of tea and right after said he needed to go to bed
Pizza and koolaid didn't even make me feel better. This hangover means business
So i walked around campus drunk and alone last night eating pizza and a lunchable from 7-11. Sat by the flag pole and drank an entire liter of water, took off my shoes to prance around in the fountain, then stepped in dog shit on the way home...barefoot.
Okay, yeah, judgmental guy at 7/11. I'm buying g wine at 10:20 in the morning. You wanna fight about it?
I'm mainly pissed because I shaved fucking EVERYTHING for this. WITH SHAVING CREAM. Men do not appreciate how rarely that happens.
I’M DRUNK AND EXCITED.
Do you think in an oreo forest they would have rivers of milk?
We met behind our asshole boss's back with the intent to oust him from the company. If this revolution is a success, bring nachoes.
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