The nurse told me they're using the same medicine that killed michael jackson.
I have been way too involved with your nipples this weekend
Remind me again why a vodka watermelon can't be a thanksgiving dish
this is not the first time I've had hot dogs and 151 for thanksgiving.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you were stumbling down richmond carrying a girl in a nurse costume. its not even halloween dude
Lets start a coed nudist frat/sorority. It would be amazing. Or just an orgy club. It would also be amazing
I remember him going "OH SHIT" when he saw you straddling me on the table. And it was like the best feeling ever.
After my lunch today, I've got $10 till Sunday night. I am losing at life.
You answered, dry heaved into the phone twice, & then hung up on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
She said she was hoping I'd be hotter. I told her I didn't see anybody standing in line to titty fuck her either. She was a great kisser.
I imagine it like the scene in Sorceror's Stone, but instead of flying keys, it's flying dicks.
That is a dream.
And remember people can't hear you kick ass in space
So many questions...the two most important are, where the fuck is my booze and how did you even get the couch through the door?
Remind me later when I want to buy more drinks that there's a 20 in my bra
My vagina likes him more than I do, but I’m going to follow her lead and see what happens
Randomize