I'd rather drink alone in my closet than hang out with that girl
I thought pig tail meant you were suppose to grab on to it when getting BJ
What happened at the top of the stairs is never to be spoken of again.
haha it staarrted out with just getting drunk then it turned into sports authority. So now im 4th or 5th in line and shit faced. Help me
We played strip Bananagrams and I won. Thank fuck I read a lot as a child.
Why do they give me cups on $8 pitcher night? I HAVE A PITCHER.
I'm naked and wearing a cowbell.i love med school.
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
its kind of scaring me that i am turned on by tom cruise in rock of ages
I'm a hopeless romantic that likes rough sex. Judge me
I masturbated to my balding thirty-something co-worker last night. I am a new level of lonely.
If you find my purse on your yacht please call me - girl you slept with after yacht party
What do you take me for? I'm not trying to lure you into bed with stories of my dead aunt.
Man, that hitchhiker cursed me.
Lately I've been very attracted to Kevin Jonas because he's like...less hot than Joe, but he's this healthy mix of both Joe and Nick. It looks like he's finally growing into himself.
Randomize
