First guy to fuck a girl in the new tool shed. Her underwear is on the shovel hook.
we're talking about where were going. or where we stand. but yeah we'll basically be doing it in the hallway so just ignore us
im sorry but my first introduction to your dick isn't going to be a pic sent from the men's room
I'm drinking margaritas out of a soup mug, of course I'm going to get wasted
The beer is more important than you right now.
So I have some interesting news. The pizza guy called the cops on me...
I was really disturbed by what initially appeared to be a dismembered head sitting beside you. Then I realized you were laying on her body.
It feels like im being cuddled by a thousand little smurf vaginas
Find me a date. With a beard. I want him to rub his beard on my tits. I'm not even into that stuff but I think it'd be so warm.
also, just kill me. literally hit me with a vehicle, or an aircraft, something that will ultimately make me forget tonight.
Who takes their shirt off at the bar?! Classy broad
I do. In all fairness there was someone else's blood on it.
next time im at a party and go to fist bump the dude who took my virginity two years ago PLEASE STOP ME
Actually let's just focus our energy on not getting committed to a psych ward.
Is it bad if I look at someone i dont know and just want to punch them in the face?
....even the bartender was embarrassed for her
Randomize
