she really just asked how mermaids reproduce.
I was high enough to think chocolate sauce on bagel bites was a good idea
the trash is collected at 5:50 on mondays. i was up puking all night and heard them
She brought an overnight bag to my party. Might as well have shown up wearing only a thong and a bottle of whip cream in her hand.
Correct me if I'm wrong here... but did we serenade each others breasts to "winds of change" last night?
Its not really a relationship, its more of a sex for booze program.
it's ok. he made up for it by standing there and holding my purse while i made out with three guys at the bar. it was a pretty good night.
Sarah likes to play this game where she leaves her thongs at every party. she hides them where hopefully gf's will find them. I caught her naked from the waste down in my freezer this morning
I'm so bored right now i'm literally Googleing all the possible ways to get high with household items as my mom is sitting in front of me..
Trying to decide who to DD on the fourth and I came up with a Who's who of guys I've hooked up with in the last month. Not an ideal situation, but I have a feeling it's gonna happen anyway.
well. can officially check "get caught having sex on the front porch by the neighbors" off the bucket list.
I agree with that homeless guy though, you do need a haircut
He called me dainty, then fucked me like the Viking God he is.
Just beer bonged through a snorkel, add that to the list
Or is it distressingly heterosexual?
Randomize
