please. tell me to stop eating out of the trash.
How much cunt could a cunt bag punch if a cunt bag could punch cunt?
Medical school killed my enjoyment of porn. Hard to keep a boner when you're diagnosing all the actor's STDs and skin disorders.
I bought a Christmas tree in my drunken state last night, after walking a half mile in search of vino and prior to my apparently playing boardgames with my boyfriend's family. There is no way you are on my level.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Getting a high five from your dog when you're stoned is one the greatest rewards of being a pet owner.
Don't be a smartass. I'm trying to fuck a guy who's sober. It's more difficult than you think.
What do you wear to apply at a strip club?
Update... last night a man tried to bite my ear. I think he swallowed my pearl earring.
My new year's resolution was to squirt this year. I only have four months left. Help.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I saw a crackhead in a ballerina outfit riding a bike while waving her hands and one leg in the air. Never seen such talent in my life
Your brother slept on my deck. There was a key under the mat. Relapse party success.
Just bought condoms with a walmart gift card. Thanks grandma.
I woke up to half of the whiskey bottle gone, and apparently I showered in my clothes. Pretty good start to SB2015 I'd say?
Is it weird that I was turned on when he told me he had a vasectomy?
I knew you two would hit it off
I don’t care if there’s a pandemic. My husband gave me a hall pass for my 40th birthday and I’m going to use it!
Randomize