I'm already going to be stripping so like pretty much you would just be watching me. Also we're watching twilight. again.
i miss you so much
i miss you too
oops, did i send that to you? i meant to send it to the money you owe me
You should never have let annie watch you have sex with other women
I love how you send me nude pics of girls you're fucking and name them by which city they're in instead of their name. "This is Nashville, this is Tupelo, this is Jackson..."
I was found on the hood of someone elses car... Who would've thought there were 2 white nissans?
If there's ever a time when I've matured to the point that I don't want to look at camera-phone-titties, go ahead and bury me in a shallow grave by the railroad tracks.
So my bf wanted to cum on my face and I let him. Afterwards I wiped some off, wiped it across his forehead and said, "The king has returned".
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
Wanna skype?
Can your lips gently and pleasantly suck on my balls via skype? If not, then no.
Jesus, you make out with one twin then sleep with the other and suddenly they don't want to play soccer with you... So sensitive...
I didn't have time to wash my hair yesterday. Ended up spraying some Febreeze on it.
If you're gonna show up unannounced on hangover day, you better have coffee doughnuts and a boner
that guy was staring at your tits.
nah, more like they were staring at him, and his girlfriend, and her less than adequate bosom. they pitied the fool.
point taken, oh mistress of the bosoms.
If my body were a person, it would be beating the shit out of me for what I did to it last night.
Where is the baby squirrel I found last night?! I've looked all morning I can't find Morris anywhere did someone take him?? ðŸ˜ðŸ˜
Honey, I kept trying to tell you it was just a pine cone.
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