he breathalyzed me before we had sex.
She has never blacked out. I have tried to get her to so many times. Apparently it's a lot harder than we make it out to be.
Can you deep fry cheerios do you know? crucial question
He called himself excalibur. Thats all I remember.
there was 12 of us, girls included, shirtless and wielding swords as we bet on rock paper scissors in the middle of the bar. It was like Cinco de Mayo version of the Deer Hunter
I may be a little fuzzy on this, but I think at some point I said something about being a generous lover.
She just admitted to me that she was a pinecone.
I'm gonna win the lottery and buy chinchillas and tattoos for everyone
It's his sex noise. "I'm gonna cu-THE LORD IS MY SHEPARD AND I SHALL NOT WANT"
I just remembered that we had an in-depth conversation about how it was too stressful to wear pants.
My booty call fought through ice and a foot of snow to get here. He brought booze, food, and cigarettes for three days. My vagina is the greatest motivator of all time.
It might be whiskey, but I view Marge and Homer Simpson as something to strive for
He called me kiddo. We can't have sex
Dude I'm fucking tired of freshman, there are god damn teeth marks on my dick again
dude. that's the chick that BIT MY DICK. it doesn't matter how hot you think she is, trust me man.
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