id be glad to
shes wearing a jean skirt, its frayed. i got this
please stop telling ppl youre Alice Cullen when youre drunk
i was in the bathroom puking my brains out, a girl walked in and said "i just came to do the same thing" so i told her i would move over and share the toilet. its better than being alone.
no more everclear, i just stood next to the toilet and peed my pants. then went back to the party soaking wet.
I miss being able to drink at 11am just cause it was sunny outside.
dude i have an english essay and a bio lab due tomorow
so basically your not goin out tonight?
who said that?
Noooo. We thought it would be funny for him to wake up buried in the sand. But we just remembered about the whole high tide thing and it's dark and it's pretty damn hard to find an unconscious head sticking out of the sand. Just help us out
I gave you head at the stadium on a Thursday night ESPN game. That damn well better be worth points on the score board!!!
We've completely outdone ourselves. We packaged a collective total of six grams of pot and salvia into little bowl-sized tinfoil capsules. It's totally impossible to tell which is which without comparing, every Friday from now on we pick one out and see what the fuck happens
Lets just say that a certain piercing set off certain alarms when I went thru the airport detector/scanner thingie. David was high fived like 12 times.
I just plagiarized Dr. Curtis Connor's ideology from Spider-man in an essay on genetically engineered embryos. College: academic integrity at its finest.
Hey. It's Michael. The guy that had his tongue in your mouth last night. Just wanted to check in with you.
I got drunk. Then I took a shit.
It was a good shit
Divorce can be hard, but look on the bright side. Your soon to be ex raved about your dick and I’m great with hard things ;-)
Randomize
