Got home from the bar at 4am. 100% sober, unlaid. Epic fail or responsible behavior?
Responsible fail?
mike has just informed me of all the things he would put in his pussy if he was a woman. this includes door stops, power drills & g.i. joes.
"and then my dad would be all like 'hey mike, where's the remote?'"
She made Precious look like a solid 6.5.
Yeah I tried to leave with 3 drinks and the bouncer wouldn't let me, I slammed all 3 right in front of him and football spiked them in the trash can
She's the only person who can pull off turning an outdoor patio heater tower into a stripper pole.
this kid is using one arm to help his buddy with a keg stand, and the other arm to hold up the chick he's making out with.
If everything I've heard is true, then she's lost her virginity three times
can you come back were all locked out and alyssia's still inside passed out on the floor but more importantly i left a beer in there that's not finished
i hope this doesn't spoil anything but there are vikings and it is awesome
apparently dick flashing is a frowned upon sport here..... sorry girlfriends mom
Our sex has gotten so much better since we broke up.
The cab driver just showed us a POV shot of himself getting ridden by a chick he took with his flip phone. Confirmed not taken in cab. Gonna be a good night...
I felt really bad for not letting her go in, it was like we were dangling lesbians in front of her
I feel like my sexual preferences are just another sign that I am a 75 year old drag queen in a 29 year old woman's body.
I just found peanut butter between my boobs. This was for you.
Randomize
