hell yes lets make some ravioli
2 bagels in my tummy and my herpes on my mind
i dont need a football game to get drunk and yell at my tv
Also, I had a dream I had a ray gun and woke up holding my dick.
you can SEE the outline of a pad through her jeans. there is no way
Wheres my "thanks for using birth control effectively and not contributing to the downfall of society" card.
I forgot not everyone drinks wine out of the bottle. My grandma just asked if i needed a glass with a disappointing look.
Also since my birthday I've on average fucked a new guy every 12.5 days. I'm doing an excel spreadsheet
My life has come to reading articles about dating an ex heroin addict. I'm doing well.
I think it was a low point but honestly at this point I've had so many that my life is like a valley
I just masturbated in the tanning bed stoned. Best decision of my life
man sorry about that. It's like god was willing me to be an asshole. I haven't filled my quota for the day
Showed up to the airport to find my fuck buddy is on the same flight. Do you think he'd be intertested in the mile high club?
? I'm just sitting watching something borrowed alone, crying in my boxers , feel like I should probably do something
this poor kid thinks hes going to have his first time with both of us
Randomize
