I'm drunk and I'm watching it's Alwyas Sunny and eating candy. Even I am jealosu of my life
And i laid in the yard with carrots on my chest cause i wanted a bunny
Is it creepy to message a girl and say you had me at stocked liquor cabinet?
Im drunk and they're making me play quiet game. Im scared. Baptists are here
Dude, all I remember was you grabbing random girls, yelling "It's a rap video!" and pouring high-life on them.
I need a therapist, but moreover we are going to be really drunk.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
In brighter news I got condoms and a mattress protector today.
I passed out in all my clothes. like my purse too..and with a cup of water next to me..and my last tweet last night was "Bye."
yo knit me an eyepatch. but also make it usable as a thong
It's getting harder and harder to find People to carry her home
She shouldn't drink
Just sitting in the tub googling "how to remove sharpie from skin". You?
I woke up covered in thousand island dressing. I need answers.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Hey, um, after thinking about it, I decided I really don't want to use applying olive oil to your ass for your fissure as part of foreplay because... well... really? Just read that again.
Randomize
