His fingers had 12 years of piano lessons behind them. my ex has been put to shame by a finger
Well now I have my semen on her headphones
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
You stumbled in at 10am, half-clothed and still drunk from last night and yelled "well, its not called a walk of pride!", then passed out on the couch.
I shit you not, me and my date were in that bar and within a 10 minute window, 4 ex gf's entered. Every one clocked me and gave me evils. I swear they're conspiring.
You said that we all need to "head out like a boner through sweatpants and get fucked." Jager night was a success.
I was so drugged up it was amazing, I felt like a dinosaur "because I enjoyed spinach, and I got apple juice and only dinosaurs get apple juice" according to me the day of, and last night I felt like a rocket ship
He didn't even realize I was drunk. He probably just thought I loved Torchwood so much that I no longer knew how to use my thumbs
my poor anus
im so sad I can't openly talk about acid tab Sundays
I'm beginning to think shitting his pants is just a normal thing for him.
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
he drove over two hours to fuck me and came in 3 minutes. he got mad when I asked him if it was worth it...
I dont even remember what i was saying but just one minute i was crying and the next i was showing u my genitals
Last time he showed up for Christmas he went on and on about backpacking somewhere and getting ghonnorreah twice.
Randomize
