i wants your nipples near my face. PLEASE????
Can I ask u a weird question?
Sure
do u have the hershy squirts too?
he showed me his boner with his cell phone light during the movie.
Just gave my manager part of my viccodin stash-my job is basically secured forever.
I'm not sure which is worse. The fact that I slept with him last night, or the fact that you did too.
He leaned out the window to puke right as the fan for the ac turned on. All of it blew back up into his face.
.....woke up with a tube of cinnamon buns in my pocket, i miss you
The Ex's are trying to talk to the GF. Game face bro.
tried doing a cartwheel after 10 beers. Guess who has a dislocated shoulder.
You kno how some people just need a "everything will be alright" pat on the back? I need an "everything will be alright" blowjob right now. Come over
Just called the consul general of France "dude"
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
I want to tell everyone I've ever met about how he him picking me up and fucking me against the wall was the highlight of my life. Worst lesbian ever.
Please tell your sister I apologize about saying her baby may have beef curtains. That was inappropriate.
I feel like I purchased a one way ticket to hell last night and its non refundable.
Randomize
