I just spent $27 on things to pee on.
No, drunk sperm still make babies.
i'm drinking with a bunch of phds, i feel very stupid but good about my drinking abilities
you grabbed his arm with one hand and the bottle of smirnoff with the other and headed off to your room you were on a mission
Bouncy castle Catalina wine-mixer race for the cure. It will be as fun as it sounds
wanna tell me why theres a glass of water stuffed with tamptons in the freezer?
I need to stop getting so excited when a guy unzips his pants and its bigger than my boyfriends. I look like a kid in a candy store.
How do I know if porn I have watched is haunted?
We're having Wednesday-night goat-night at the bar.
It's hard to explain...
Prob because you've thrown up alot. As long as its not like pure blood you're fine. Drink water.
Is "I am going to murder you if you keep sending me requests that I cannot fulfill" unprofesh?
Dude! We had to write our address on your arm in permanent marker so you wouldn't get lost. You just showed the cabbie your arm and he drove you! Nice guy.
The doctor said that if they accidentally damage my nerve endings I could permanently lose feeling in my lower jaw.. Honestly the first thing that came to mind was how that would affect my blowjob skills.
still drunk.please come get me.he kicked me out because i couldn't stop laughing about passing out in the middle of taking his virginity.
It's like a donut of clothes around a pair of heels. Like they were transported to another dimension naked.
Randomize
