Um, that's called prostitution
Not if I leave it on the nightstand, then it's called cab money
I ate one of your animal crackers. just one. ok four. but no frosting. ok frosting.
I am 90% sure the kid in front of me in class is picking his face spots, smelling it, and then eating it. That is a LOT of % sure for something like that.
Note to self: never do anything I don't want to explain to a paramedic
I am three bowls, two beers, and a muscle relaxer into babysitting. What are you doing.
Last time I went to flagstaff I threw up in my beard. I would very much like to recreate that moment.
I think I'm goin to jail but either way I had a blast.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
Yoga may not b such a good idea for me today. My liver is obviously in cahoots with my colon to pay me back for the past 24 days of misuse . Downward dog could have catastrophic consequences.
Lets have the type of night where its 5am and one of us has definitely punched someone who has been on a Disney Channel show.
Yeah, but I think it would be a little awkward to explain to Mom that the girl I brought for lunch is not my girlfriend but just a fuck buddy who I met after she hit and totaled my car last month.
He's been watching the World Cup too much because right before he came he screamed "NUT!!!!!!!!!!!!!!" for half a minute. Our landlord is not happy.
Yeah! Just remind me to. I'll also bring the blow up penis
Is she blowing you? I'm in the closet.
There is an episode of "how it's made" on tv right now. The subject is tequila and water beds. Basically my life.
Randomize
