The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
it wasn't sex, it was awkward naked time.
And when we woke up we made beer pancakes. Great start to a family picture day.
Maybe its all the xanax she takes but she literally has NO shame
his apartment was in a funeral home, walk of shamed through a visiation in the skankiest outfit i own
oh my god. separately texting an Allie and an Ally while drunk is hard, and I'm climbed 1/2 way up a bridge pier.
Its fiiine, tuesday is like the thursday of wine wednesday. And i mean, free beer for girls at the grove...im not NOT gonna take that offer up!
Look at your life. Look at your choices.
Went to bed with a bowl of spaghetti O's on my chest, I make my own breakfast in bed. New level of laziness
How interesting! I'm adding this to my list of things to discuss with you between fucks.
DONT TALK SHIT ABOUT LUNCHABLES
Sobered up midsex and just went with it. After he tried cuddling and I awkwardly rolled out of the bed to find someone on the floor, apparently it was his room so he got to listen.
I just remembered that last night I seriously contemplated swallowing the cap to my toothpaste
Never in my life did I dream that I would meet and NFL linesman, let alone that he would be standing before me dressed as a Roman centurion and asking for Vaseline.
And our sex soundtracks thus far have been metal and Star Wars
I woke up with an eye patch on, someone else's sweatshirt on, and no pants on. I hope it was a good night.
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