I don't even remember his name...i'm just gonna save it as birthday sex
Giving the kids Children's Claritin and calling it candy.....Is it setting them up for drug abuse later?
Just bought a pack of cigs...gas station guy informed me i took off my underwear and tried to pop a squat by the milk last night...
mom in a round about way told me to either donate my eggs or become a surrogate bcuz I need money.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i just got drunk dialed and its 10am. clearly finals are over.
unfortunetly they frown upon drunk on duty paramedics
if i can get a chik with a dibaetes pump naked a sling certainly isnt going to get in my way
How's your threesome situation going?
Optimistic
I think the old lady next to me at the bar just saw your pussy
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
You ran through a field yelling "I'm frolicking! I'm frolicking!" Then fell on your face. How is your nose today, doll?
It's been two dates and she just invited me to her aunts funeral. I can't even. Who the fuck does that? I need to drink I'm coming to get you in 5
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Look I'm really high right now, and if I were to leave this house, it would be for the sole purpose of getting an ice cream sandwich. So can you please just do it.
Can someone explain to me why guys are so fascinated w their dicks that they feel like they'll die if they don't send unsolicited dick pics
I can't sleep. Send Llama pictures.
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