I just found that girl ____ on facebook, her activities include "church nursery" yikes
Hello Stephanie, you need to come pick me up at Par Blvrd correctional facility and bring $750-$1000 for bail. I just got a DUI. Thank you.
What!?!?! How are you txting?!
Because this is Officer Reynolds, and I just arrested your boyfriend.
The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
Shots and making dong molds for my gf's friends. Typical Monday night activities.
So the crazy cock blocking bitch sent her a picture of her boobs using MY phone and said: he's busy at the moment
She acts like a 3 year old but with fantastic tits. This girl is the reason women are objectified
I could just tape a camera with a live feed to my head & you could check in on me from time to time
My boyfriend sold my favorite shoes right off my fucking feet last night outside the bar. It might have played a part in our breakup today.
The majority of the reason I want to get my pilot's license is so I can use the argument "FUCK YOU! I'M A PILOT!"
I danced with this guy last night, I left like I was humped by a blind baby kangaroo trying to body-box.
Only thig bad about that muscular chick from the gym is she liked it so rough I had to bust out a few wrestling moves from highschool
What's dad's email?
askmom@cause.idk
my nose is crying tears of wow.
Due to this morning's events my new porn name is Reepa Nipplov.
Dude, I'm telling you, date younger. He brought pizza, made me squirt twice, and then left to immediately go to brunch with his mom.
Randomize
