My grandmass entire neighborhood is over for dessert and i'm high as fuck...about to make a couple of freshman boys real uncomfortable
Freshman in high school? Just your type
I heard you aren't going to graduate...that suck sorry bro
I heard your girlfriend is trying to spread swine flu because she wants to wear one of those masks to cover up her broke ass teeth
My pussy is not your playground.
he stole me 6 pairs of frilly undies and proclaimed "your ass looks like a 5 in those. it'll be a 10 in these bad boys". every girl needs a gay bff.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you can feel better about your life now. i slept with a guy who has gold teeth
Cocaine Wednesdays have to stop turning into no work Thursday
I would come over if there was not the impending fear of me shitting out my brains.
I almost spit out my drink. But only almost, because it was vodka. And you don't spit out vodka.
Well, my breasts are swollen and I cried about the Iditarod. But I say PMS until proven pregnant.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Visiting Houston was a good decision for my penis.
If you don't ever hear from me again, just know that I loved you
Jesus Christ that's like a real possibility
Look I'm sorry I stuffed your wife's bouquet toss but I won't have that weak shit in my house.
You owe me beer. On another note, I made out with the ups guy at work today ....
Kinda hard to look your partner in the face the day after a rousing game of How Many Ways Can I Capture Your Penis.
I think about him when I masturbate so I guess you could call it love
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