We should go out drinking together soon
I'm still not going to have sex with you
Looking at the victoria's secret website makes the ice cream I'm eating taste like sadness and obesity
She asked me to facebook all the girls I'd hooked up with. She started crying when I started my search with A.
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
Don't worry, nothing happened....but we should have a fire extinguisher here.
Just look for the house with the beer knights.
The good news is the bleeding stopped. I think I'm going to sober up before I tell you the bad news though.
She was eating whipped cream out of a plunger at 3 am in the morning. Yet somehow she still had an elegance about her.
Nah nah nah the rules are different on st patty day, drink beer or die. It's like the hunger games but blurrier
My boss just called me for legal advice. What has my life become?
I also just told a guy I was available for counseling in case he needed to 'bang' things out. I've become a monster.
I've been wearing the same clothes for 3 days and they're covered in franzia
i think we watched the dark knight rises after you left but i might have passed out through most of it. I remember crying at the end though. sad tears then happy tears.
Listen I'm tryna celebrate your divorce. Sometimes that calls for drinking on the toilet.
Once the overwhelming "oh god my crotch is on fire" wears off, that excite stuff is really nice
Randomize
