I did a mental Irish jig when he pulled out the second condom.
I just called a child with a Yankees jersey a jerkoff. so much for a friendly day @ the ballpark
i think i pulled off the nice guy thing too well. it just backfired later on when she thought i was actually nice.
Everything gets a little fuzzy after the flats of jello shots, but I do have a vague recollection of being at the top of a large human pyramid
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Oh. And what's the twitter protocol for following the guy you blew behind a shed?
Guys with integrity exist just to rain on my slut parade.
Aaaand the winner of the worst decision of Sunday night goes to me as I pull up to his house in my lingerie.
I just tried to brush my hair with a can opener. Who gave you that brownie
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Over 14,000 people at my school and the kid I went home with last night is IN MY FUCKING LECTURE
How am i even supposed to meet his daughter? "Hi, Claire, I hear we have so much in common, like we both love your Dad and also we're almost the same age."
In other news, I tore a tendon in my hand from giving my boyfriend handjobs so that's how my day is going
its a recording of you guys having sex?!
its actually 30 minutes of him begging and then 2 minutes of sex.
he had a bulletproof vest and a pocket full of lollipops! how was i suppose to say no.
This is the Front Desk Lady from the Saturolite Inn. Your friend is passed out in the lobby. Please come help her.
Randomize