There is a strange man mowing my lawn. Best day ever.
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
ugh he was not leaving in the morning so i tried to scare him by crying and saying i wasnt ready to lose my virginity.
That's the first time I've ever heard something that tickled both my gag reflex and my penis simultaneously.
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
It's awesome, he has so much more free time now that he's not screwing other girls behind my back
So did he inherit the massive family cock?
:(
Its not chugging if its just one gulp
He drops f bombs like every other word and he just gave me 127 shares of tmobile stock for free. I feel like I should pay him back in blow jobs or something.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
I'M MAKING HIKING PLANS WITH THE GIRL WHO IS DATING MY EX, THAT IS PERSONAL FUCKING GROWTH
Which emoticons convey sympathy for sleeping with someones bf ??
Chasing down vodka with apple juice and crying. Alone.
When I woke up I was spooning with a block of cheese. Like, cuddling. Me and the cheese we nestling...
I just had a man tell me he was going to think about me when he was fucking his wife tonight. This is my proudest moment as a gay.
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