Just saw a midget shotgun a coors light
??? When I first met her at the bar, she told me she was 23. After I bought her 3 shots of tequila, she told me she was really only 21. When we went back to my house, she said she was really only 19. She's still sleeping next to me butt naked. I'm afraid if she opens her mouth again I could be looking at 10 years.
i get turned down more than a collar. where are the desperate bitches i need to crawl to them
people would bow to what i just did to her vagina
Mom just apologized for her lack of a gag reflex not being genetic.
My mom is purposely blasting Shania Twain downstairs so I can't jack off.
She bit a glass in half.
Your two fuck buddies playing ping pong together. HOW. ADORABLE!
I guess she thought her walk of shame would be more dignified if she stole my dog
It's like an R Kelly music video in here. Only a matter of time before someone pisses on someone
There's green glitter on my nipple rings. #mardigras2013
Also this guy in my contact as hairy jerry sent me a pic of him shirtless and said I miss you and I have no idea who he is /when or if I met him but that's not normal?!
I'm not going out, it's sweat pants and gallon vodka night at my place and I'm the only one on the guest list.
This is because you lost at fooseball isn't it?
sarahs drunk and is drawing dinosaurs all over the apartment. should i stop her?
whats she drawing them with?
eyeliner
no that's ok
It's his. I know, I'm pregnant with a genetic douche bag but at least he'll be pretty!
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