HIV tests are more positive than that guy
she says it's "been amazing lately"
i think basically because i hate her so much i'm trying to break her in half
be a good friend and just tell me i'm not pregnant
I got to work, greeted my staff, then went into the bathroom to throw up. Who hired me to run a business???
See, not all bad decisions involve my penis.
And my cat won't make me food. She's a bitch
he just texted me saying he needs a place to stay for the night. pretty sure i just got booty called to my own house...
Step one go to argentina step two fuck bitches it's a simple plan really
I ran into my boss at the liquor store on our lunch hour we both just stood there awkwardly until i was like your car bar or mine hahaha we both need a cab
I'm like 80% sure we nearly got arrested because we threw fireworks at a car
had a dream you helped me fill my shoes with yogurt. we were even like "why didn't we think of this before?!" like it was just so obvious
that sounds like something we'd do... we're onto something here
I feel like I'm in high school again. I'm completely sober and I just gave some guy a handjob to completion.
Also I'd apologize for texting you flipping my shit about the science of hair growth while I was shrooming last night but we know each other better than that
I wish I was taller so I could give these boobs the publicity they deserve.
Slept in and having coffee. No sounds of whipping and no veiny dildos next to me. This is good. How's your mornin?
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