My new storm is the chrons
The only reason I needed a new one is bc I threw up on my other one(248): And since Verizon doesn't have a throw up test, I was eligible for a new one
...., I just tried brushing my hair wothh a toothbrushg. fail
ps not my toothbrush awkward.
did it hurt when the cum got in your eye
not so much hurt, more like a stinging sinsation like mouthwash
I thought I broke my iPhone. I was almost as depressed as the day I broke my vibrator.
mom and dad googled us on the weekend. i love the internet less than i did on friday.
look for us when you get to the club. we're the guys wearing snorkels.
i just had to use the keg as a stool to reach the margarita maker. i'm such a problem solver.
Hey will pizza rolls help if you accidentally get a diabetic chihuahua drunk?
Why did you fed-x me a peanut butter sandwich?
It seemed like the thing to do. There's popcorn on it too.
STOP smoking sooo much weed. Damn
So unless we're getting married, I can't see him cry AND have sex with him. It just doesn't work like that.
I think pants incapable of making pants work
I'll be an awkward "I've had the grooms penis in my mouth" presence and we can party our nipples off.
Topless, eating sour gummies, doing a crossword, at 4 AM. TELL ME IM BEAUTIFUL!
Sorry. Im too sleepy to penis.
she bought my drinks all night, made me breakfast in the morning, and let me use her expensive hair products before i left. best one night stand ever.
Randomize
