I just got called an ass for saying no thanks to a Greenpeace solicitor. I don't want the whales to die but I do want Greenpeace to fail. Conundrum.
i was unsuccessful, further solidifying for me that girls should not masturbate.
as i creep her facebook pics from back in the day till now, i noticed that her lazy eye has gotten better
I'm the brains and you're the boobs of this operation.
Thank you for not puking on my lap during the first class of the semester. And fuck you for doing it in the second.
She called it a palate cleanser. She and her friend dike it out once a year before returning to dick
Together or do they pick up? How far do they go? IS AN AUDIENCE PERMITTED? GODAMIT ANSWERS MAN!!!!!!
Yeah play it cool maybe put in a kissy face though let him know you're giving an invitation for his dick
I heard them banging and it sounded like he was trying to stuff a fucking coconut into her
So, I have realized that I am kryptonite for married men. I'm not sure how to feel about this sober, but drunk me accepts her destiny.
Everclear isn't food dammit
I peed outside 4 times after the bar, safe to say I had great night
the cop asked if i was drunk and i responded with "breathalize me, cap'n". incidentally, he was a captain and i blew a .13.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
If I get my period the weekend your parents are gone i'm removing my uterus.
What happened?
Vodka. Vodka happened.
Randomize
