I think my tv knows when im high and tells taco bell
yeah. then i thought it would be a good idea to show them how hairy my armpits were, so they'd be distracted from the bush in my pants. EPIC FAIL.
She's like a coupon for free blow jobs. No purchase necessary.
how convenient is it that the kid i'm fucking lives right next to planned parenthood?
I'm not going to need your "it doesn't mean you're a slut" pep talk after all.
It feels kinda weird thanking you for sucking my dick, but I just don't know what else to do right now
you took the tequila shot and then procceded to eat the lime..we told you to spit it out but you just straight face kept chomping
My liver just had a heart attack.
Well it's official... The first guy I ever gave head to now holds 2 world records. Should I text him asking if I can try and break my record?
You crowd surfed from beer pong into the bathroom where you spent the rest of the night, also I have your wallet
candyland with pharmaceuticals ... what could go wrong
No like you've drunkenly persistently tried to take your shirt off in the middle of a park filled with children. You had already thrown your bra at my crotch.
Trust no bitch in laser tag. Not a single one.
he was Irish, I had to have sex with him.
She made me baby bird juul smoke to her while we were fucking
Randomize
