Is showing up wearing the condom a bit presumptus
adderall flavored popcorn. yes we did it and its awesome
Double fisting Gray Goose bottles. We've officially ruined her.
i almost hope i AM knocked up so i can ruin the rest of his life
I need you to come over. Im crying, day drinking and working out simultaneously.
Now you know for the next time you go in the basement to wear a helmet
I rode a bull tonight, There is absolutely no reason my dick is not in some chicks mouth
Ultimate Fighter Idea. You and I both have unprotected sex with the same girl in the spam of days. Whoever the child belongs to, wins and that child is the ultimate ultimate fighter.
How high are you?
He's only done it missionary. His world is about to be rocked. Do you know what I look like from behind?
ok give me a pep talk, I want a hotdog but I'm too stoned to go make it
New drinking game, drink every time Rhianna says "Work" in her new song.
Can we go out and get blitzed in celebration that they'll be no more surprise kids
What the hell happened to the sandwich meat I just bought?
After you smoked, you made 8 ham sandwiches.
Guess that explains the mysterious disappearance of the bread...
i had to flash a cab last night.
did it work?
No. he slowed down but then kept going. story of my life.
I canceled a date last night to eat pop tarts and go to bed early
Randomize
