I'm at the bar with Ashley what should I do?
humiliate her
Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
I'm at subway, this 8 year old kid is judging my fashion sense with his dad. I want to kill myself.
It's ok, he's just 8, he's not judging you.
He just asked why I'm sitting alone. I honestly want to cry.
She just asked me if I was going to kiss her cat goodby too... This is why we don't stay till last call.
you kept naming everything at the party...like "boy i'm going to make out with" and "table i'm going to dance on later"
I was going to call you an awful person for that. but then i realized we're both awful people.
Really* awful people.
She passed out in the backyard, making "face down" snow angels ... so they could have a smile.
She's locked herself in the bathroom with a tub of icecream and she's watching my little pony on her phone. We know it cause she sings with them.
My halloween constume SCREAMS "Hey i just got done with a shitty relationship and I'm DTF"
dude i should have never cleaned my ears out while high. theres no going back.
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
I'm kinda surprised he wouldn't be honored to take me back as a fuck buddy.
Listen. You dont know how advanced you are in yoga till you have to shave your butthole
Also mom is not happy about me telling her how much i want the women sprinters on the Olympics to beat me up
there is partying, then there is whatever we did last night.
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