This ginger kid smells like a queef popsicle
i wish mother nature was an actual person cause i'd bitch slap her for sure
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Well hello freshman 15, didn't see you there until I tried on last years summer clothes.
We found him. 8 blocks away from the bars and almost at his parent's house. On the verge of tears.
I have glow sticks stuck to my boobs and a missed call from the 911. I'd say last night was a success.
It's not really the holidays until I raid the medicine cabinet. Happy hydrocodone to me
And a merry methadone to all
My professor laid down on the floor and told us a story that involved being naked covered in Vaseline with a pumpkin on your head. No lie. This is going to be a great semester.
I yelled at the dude who smoked him up "YOU'RE THE REASON I'M NOT GETTING LAID" then went to bed. So yeah, I guess it was an ok night.
I probably should have eaten more before I started shotgunning beers at 9am, but it was so much damn fun.
I can't go to class, I have all this weed to sell
i need to stop meeting underage girls and letting them into the bar. i mean yea its a surefire way to get laid without having to tell them I'm 26 but i feel like as a bouncer I'm focusing on all the wrong things
So now I know what having sex while surrounded by chickens feels like.
There's a rash on my genitals that would like a word with you.
Hey, sorry I choked you last night... I was just really excited to see you.
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