when im bored during the day i often think, what do people who dont get high do with their day.. i came to the conlcusion that everyone must be getting high
We just saw a waitress walk by with a tray of bacardi and whipped cream.
Whoever ordered that deserves a pat on the back and the "classiest customer" award
I've got 15 minutes to eat dinner and drink a 40. Four years of college has all been training for this moment.
Well you broke that rule when you put it in your mouth.
Thanks for not waking me up before the firefighters chopped down my door
Check out this gay circle: I've now hooked up with my ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend, my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend, and most recently my ex's ex-boyfriend's ex-boyfriend's ex-fling.
I just pulled the nickels from earlier out of my bra in class. The guy next to me is either terrified or intrigued.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
I don't know what part of my sober brain thought it was a good idea to get stoned when I can barely walk with crutches as it is, but that part is stupid.
I told you being able to play expert on guitar hero would get us laid one day
When did i become the Rickety Cricket of my own life?
I was planning out a scrapbook to memorialize my affair.......and that's when it hit me, I don't make good choices. On the upside, the scrap book came out great and I am glad I saved all the gate passes from the airport.
I want to fling myself into the sun
I'm at that stage of drunk where just imagining having sex makes me motion sick.
He put his number in my phone as Steve handsome
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