dude, i look like john mccains neck right now
Random 1st period thought: do you think she could put "had a threesome" on her resume?
I don't understand why we need a holiday to become more aware of boobs...
I want to get so wasted that I make middle aged irish men look like mormon girls
and now her best friend is massaging my table under the leg. this may not end well.
I just did the math. 30.36% of girls I've slept with have cheated on a significant other while doing it.
I dunno, but she kept buying me shots and asking me to go places with her. oh btw we're signed up to go bungee jumping Saturday
I AM THE KING OF THE FRESHMEN
how did i know this would happen?
I'm just a little drunk right now and I have to work at 3
Omg sara
I ran out of milk and it's hot and I was thirsty
You tired to make us "vodka tacos". Which was just you dipping pitas in vodka.
Any good?
Well. FUCK YA. But that's beside the point
How is your new roommate working out
We are drinking at the laundromat. And will probably have sex later. So...pretty good.
being serenaded is actually kind of awkward 2/10 do not reccommend
George disappeared two hours ago with a stripper named "delicious." Haven't seen him since
Life's hard when you can't differentiate between retrograde and PMS
I got a pots and pans set and a vibrator. Merry Crisis.
Randomize
