it's like i warped into dreamland and the only thing that makes sense is my solo cup
Her hair smelled like a rat dipped in mustard on fire
I just heard an old guy ask the chick he was with if she wanted to try ass to mouth...
thanks for that.
Mike and I just ate the lobster we found in the toilet
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
you took him to the bathroom with you to pee and told him he had to hold your hand..but he couldn't turn on the lights because you didnt want him to hear you peeing..and still got laid. i wish i had your life.
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
she both took care of me and took advantage of me. it was BEAUTIFUL.
I always knew I'd be the first one with an STD
he just flipped me off the bed, said "deal with it", and came on me.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Na Im fine, just need to un-grow this vagina I've developed
GO AHEAD, BITCH, GLARE AT MY WAFFLE ONE MORE TIME. I WILL FUCK YOU UP.
is that a sigh of girlish delight, or "sigh...I'm having a herpes outbreak'
Can't it be both?
And for some reason every time I get drunk I just want to tell you that I have a mini secret personal fan club of your dick
He’s 21. The president of his frat. I’m 28 and have a career!
Do it. It’s a noble position.
Nice. Make him jerk off and tape it. Send it to his woman. I also love that you had another skype date
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