I'm afraid we're only dating because we're too lazy to look for anyone else.
I don't know if the fire truck was perfect timing or if she actually burned something down.
I got really high with eric & scott.. they're discussing why words sound the way they do.. it's going to get messy
i want the original willy wonka imagination song to come on when i take a girl to my room
did anyone else see me puking into my coat sleeve?
Just paid my credit card bill at the bar. This phone makes it so I never have to leave
Do you think he stole that soccer trophy that he gave you for the "best sweater award" from his five year old son?
I got stoned in my snow covered car and pretended I was burried alive
in my defense, he kept drinking all of my water.
he had diabetes and you told him to stop being a pansy!
Brandon's Recipe: two parts cocoa, one part sugar, one part milk, two parts four, 378 parts paranoia. Thanks for the fucking brownies, bitch.
I found his Linkedin the day after he created it. Too stalkerish or just right?
hey dude, just got with the girl in H4. so mark H off the apartment list
haha we are half through our lease and already checked off 17 letters
He gave me a beer, petted my head, and called me kiddo.
I think he just tried to put your boyfriend in a trashcan....
Can you face time me. I need to know if this pill is xanex or ecstasy
Randomize
