it went kinda like vodka, childhood memories, screaming/cursing, fist fight, tears, broken shit, passing out. in that order. tis the season.
When I find myself drinking from a boot I just go with it and refuse to ask why.
Well, i'm not sure how that works so i wish both you and your vagina luck on your voyage.
Just so we're clear. I'm still making jello shots and bringing them to the bar in my purse. I don't care if its half off margaritas. Don't want anyone thirsty
He wanted to feed hamburgers to the homeless... as a first date... who the fuck is this kid
Marking my student's "don't do drugs" posters while simultaneously texting my dealer, is this what being a grown up is like?
We are a team. I lure them in with my tits, feed them enough alcohol to consider homosexuality, and hand them off to you.
You're the best wingman ever.
This breakup hit defcon 5. Walked to pathmark with a denim jacket over my nightgown to get ben and jerrys. On sale btw.
I got kicked out of the bar for suggesting that the bartender drop her tits into my Redbull instead of the usual liquor
I can't relate, I like my boobs roaming free like a wild animal, and I occasionally let them devour small children
Pooled our money and rented a bouncy castle for the day. Get over here now. Bring vodka.
Btw I appreciate you as a friend for taking the time to validate my sluttiness
Dude...itll be a youre-still-a-dick-but-a-hot-one-angry-hate-evil-spite kinda fuck. This is acceptable.
Stopping for a booty call on the way to a lunch date... Bad form?
Nana added me on facebook...i think i'll have to call her and warn her about my lifestyle before i confirm her as a friend.
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