then she came back into the room with a neckbrace on. i thought she was getting ready for the pounding of a lifetime.
I feel like I am becoming dumber sitting here in class than I would be sitting on the couch smoking weed.
this is a reminder to untag myself in the picture of me flashing the photographer in the morning.
Somewhere in the night I send my Dad a text stating "YOU failed as a parent"
I think my uterus is still laying in your bed somewhere under the covers.
The woman in the hospital bed next to me just got diagnosed with flea bites on her vag.
Whaaaaaat? No way.
Now a discussion of pigs vs. dog as carrier.
He's just so adorable. And I don't want to fuck someone who's adorable.
So I'm not dead, but close call. I think I can handle one more bar.
I just walked through the door and she ran up to me, hugged me, unzipped my pants and immediately started sucking my dick. Good day.
apparently i came home last night raving about goats and singing songs from muppet treasure island
What happened last night and why am I partially covered in queso?
Is it bad that I like to have a guy to flirt with in every class? I feel like it's excellent motivation: to shave, to shower and to show up.
It was probably the night you were half naked and trying to blow everybody, guy or girl.
this is me we're talking about here. You're going to have to be more specific than that.
dude, next time you say lets go on an adventure, tell me if there are going to be psychotrophics involved before hand.
Step 1 was make out with him. so now we just need to come up with step 2.
Randomize
