Sooo i definitely have a major burn on my chin from kenny's ...stubble from making out for hours while coked up. Pure class.
can you blame him?
i blame him for everything, HE GOT ME PREGNANT
she did the YMCA with her lgs... i think she forgot she wasnt wearing any underwear
Changed my sheets. Found a can of rockstar, crushed bag of tostitos, used tissues, and enough of both of our clothes to make a whole outfit.
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He tricked me...the first song on his sex mix was trey songz but the rest were techno....i can't walk straight now
Please don't mistake my med student status for responsibility. I'm drinking tequila while studying vascular surgery techniques.
Everything was cool until I tried to photo bomb those Hells Angels, then it's all a blank
can't believe I traded a good night's sleep and a midterm for your blurry tits
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
YOU CANT FOOL THE TOILET
I'm terrified that I'm going to have a baby with a guy who posts snapchat stories while ignoring my texts
Ever since I got to LA my dream self has been having sex with way too many rabbi's.
He's actually really cute and seems like a good guy. And given that he likes lots of drugs, he could come in handy.
I shit myself and fell down the stairs and I’m still finding shit In those pants.
Randomize
