We're like a lot better than the average bears
no, he's only a walking dick if he mans up. right about now he's just a walking transgender.
dude you were so wasted last night you ate a sandwich made out of tomatos, cheese, doritos, salt & pepper. Then you heated it in the micro for 5 min to melt the cheese.
I need to take "lollipop" off of every single one of my playlists cause it makes me wanna suck dick.
He had a stripper pole in his bedroom. I didn't know whether to be impressed or creeped out.
Day 3 of Lent and I would already kill a puppy if God would give me permission to masturbate
so I'm coping with getting the "I'm not over my ex" bomb dropped on me by getting drunk and yelling at people while wearing a purple princess hat
Kid sitting next to me smells like he slept in a dutch oven full of farts. Going to die.
You know it's time to do the dishes when you take shots of water out of a sake glass...
And you wonder why you're always one of the guys?
Also, you need to stop getting hammered and taking showers with people.
you made a mix containing mostly whiskey. then you took a sip, gagged and yelled "perfect!"
I'm covered in glow paint and I can't find my shirt. So, successful night
I came so hard I went blind for a few seconds.
Bachelorette party buss just rolled into down town. DTF, "horny hotties inside" and "show us your dicks" written on the windows....this could get interesting.
You ran the halls of the dorm naked handing out condoms. You were the sex fairy. Best you can do if you're not getting laid.
Randomize
