I just snuked. Sneezed and puked
By the end of the night i was making legitimate noises not just saying moo.
we already have meals planned for the weekend.
SEMEN IS NOT A MEAL.
Dude. Get me out of here. I'm surrounded by glitter-faced 40 year olds in halter tops. The desperation here is so thick you can taste it.
its the kind of night you break several limbs and say you were lucky
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
As we were about to go at it, his roommates barged in singing jumper by third eye blind. Weirdest almost one night stand ever.
Well am going to a strip club before sun down, I dont think anything good can come from that.
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
My hangover didn't kick in until like 4pm so I found myself puking in the middle of Times Square. During rush hour. In a three piece suit. A spongebob came by and patted me on the back.
I'll probably just end up banging you in your parents marital bed,in their honor of course.
Dude, do you think he'd be pissed if he found out that I always reference him as my starter husband?
She's gonna be mad if she finds out you put weed in her house warming cookies
Lets just say the phase, What a dick, has a whole new meaning at the urinals.
Hypothetical question: Would it be wrong to tell the annoying children who don't listen to their parents that the motel is haunted?
Randomize
