I just accidently deleted 60 gigs of porn from my external hard drive. Thats over 300 pornos! I think im gonna cry.
Im surprised that you are even able to text me right now.
boyfriend complimented me on my new prada shoes today. he is officially either gay or the man im gonna marry. knowing my luck it's all of the above.
Yeah. We was talkin. Its ok. My bed is too filled with pam for sex. Its like a slip and slide of butter product.
taking shots each time the weatherman says Dont go out in this blizzard
He kept saying that the puke outside the theater wasn't his and it was all a set up to keep him from partying with the whores. Then he passed out on the sidewalk.
idk whats worse playing power hour to yourself, or the fact that you were having fun while doing it
I got mine. It's a truly beautiful penis. Plus he pulled his tongue muscle on my vagina.
i just snorted adderall with my patient's rolled up EKG strip from our last clinical. nursing school has ruined me. thought you would appreciate this.
Most adult booty call ever. Ha. We got down to business and still got to watch the colbert report.
i only avoided him because he looked like he was about to have a heart attack and i didnt feel like doing cpr on my day off.
what type of emt are you
Either im tripping real hard, or there's a legit land shark in my apartment.
It got quiet and we all stood around and opened the box and I've never seen so many burritos in my life man. it was fucking biblical.
Power lunch with dad, pain pills and tequila shots. Dad does Monday hard.
drunk and crying about Shakespeare- how's your night?
Two questions: Did you enjoy your birthday present and how did i wake up with glitter all over my dick?
Randomize
