my head looks like a cockatoo
mine looks like a lions mane...looks like the entire zoo is going to prom
I've come to the conclusion that the only reason I fucked him was because he reminded me of Seth Rogen.
i have to go see a new gyno today. he's a male. i just took 3 shots of tequila. its almost like freshman year... drink alcohol, meet a strange man, let him play with my vagina.
his internet history is a lot of porn, how to make a hovercraft and side-effects of jacking off too much
I am sleeping on the floor in your room so if you have sex in here just don't roll on me
Hypothetically, how much legal trouble do you think i will be in for stealing someone's dog?
Then he showed me his sketchbook. Every drawing was a hand in different 'fingering positions'. Dear JESUS.
I mean, I'm not looking for prince charming. I'm looking for the glass slipper of dicks.
all i remember is him tryin to explain to the girls how to effectively hit the strip club with their bfs
hes actually pretty persuasive when he drinks
do you know how hard it is to walk a mile drunk on 151 it's hard yards are soft and every girl looks good
Question: should I be considering heels or is this the kind of night where I should plan on falling on my face regardless of my choice of footwear?
Just walked by the neighbors and they are definitely butt naked sitting on a bed, watching Netflix, baked out of their minds, with the blinds open.
Welcome to Bellingham.
You told us that you were going to become a 'new man' and threw your tv set out of a window.
I mean honestly, what would you have done?
Not screw her in the church house?
This place is full of unfortunate mustaches.
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