Food network will be on but we won't be watching
O by "watching" I mean "background noise"
Remember that one time i smeared period blood on your face?
I hate you
Someone should've told Pope jumper lady and terrorist pants guy that the Worst of 2009 lists already went out....
i was so blacked out at my family party.. my mom gave markers to all my little cousins. i was tagged by 5 year olds.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
i woke up surrounded by junior mints. not to mention, there was a huge pyramid of natty cans baracading the door shut. this is why i can't drink alone.
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
The only thing I really remember is repeating "I hope I still have a job on Monday". Oh and pulling my boob out of my dress.
So I take it the company Christmas dinner went well then...
he laminated a picture of his dick.
All I can remember is posting my chicken burger in the post box. Postman is in for a treat.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Came home plastered at 8am. Roommate had hot glued all the ashtrays and various items to their surfaces. Couldn't handle it. Went back to the bar.
who sends a dick pic at 3 am on a sunday honestly
seriously. and now it'll take him hours to clean up the glitter
I had to reschedule my trainer meeting so now I'm just here eating hot pockets
I'm pretty sure that cute cop drove me home. Especially since I found his card in my purse.
All I'm saying is there better be a bow on your dick for my birthday
Dude there's ten thousand dollars worth of damage to the kids house and three thousand in stolen property and his dog is missing he is pissed
If I give him back his dog do you think he'll invite me to the next party
Randomize