bad idea #53- masterbating while on period.
I'm sitting in class drinking a forty out of a paper bag. No ones said anything yet. I think my professor is trying to ignore me. Better start yelling louder.
You've eaten a Lean Pocket for every meal for at LEAST 3 days now. Get your life in line.
you described his penis as a "portable fishing pole"
He had to stop fucking her halfway through to do a shit. When he returned she was still waiting for him. The joys of MDMA
Cause your way of greeting people at the club was grabbing a tit and jiggling it while yelling a name, which usually wasn't theirs, and guys weren't safe either.
I'm not sure any amount of coworker judgement will keep me from eating oatmeal with dinosaur eggs.
So we'll go out later for condoms and cake batter... aka grocery shopping for champions.
Just saw a huge group of people walk by in there in their underwear. Too stoned for this.
It wasn't like a party or anything. They played PlayStation and talked about sports. Then I threw up on his porch.
What not to say at an interview: i can wrap the shit out of some food.
I can't tell if my bong is gender-neutral or not
Did he think I was flirting with him when I ordered a hot dog bc no
got laid for being an eagle scout again. 4 more and ill have all my merit badges.
A piece of your chipped nail polish just fell out of my crotch.
Randomize
