doug butabi!
steve butabi!
hotties wanna shake it
This girl I work with, who is 18 btw, invited me to her baby shower. Do they sell abortions in gift certificate form?
Vibrator and massage oils got stopped at security. Super.
It's been two days. My balls feel like watermelons.
This is one of those moments when you do what I say or I come stalk you down like a gazelle.
so far I've only met her once and hung out one other time. Up to 5 BJs already. That's serious efficiency.
I want to see boobs tonight. Like, real ones. Your ones.
I'm romantic.
Because Kyle had a tattoo kit at his house and I wanted one and all he could draw was a mustache or a stickman on fire
my vagradar is going off.. it smells a soldier
Super stoned right now. And I stared at my exit, thought to myself "hey self. That is your exit" and I kept driving right past it.
I'll be back in a hour going with Jason to get his nipples tattooed back on again
Its official, kitchen-couch is my favorite.
You passed out again didn't you?
its likely that this occurred.
I’m gonna stop you right there. The last time you had a “brilliant” idea, I woke up to my kitchen covered in flour and a javelin through my tv.
If you can wrestle my underwear off of me, you can top. It'll be like using an amulet in Legends of the Hidden Temple. Instead of not getting captured, you don't get fucked in the ass.
I just found two ugly toothless rednecks fucking in the woods in my backyard. The man shouted at me close the door your letting the stank out which made no sense to me cuz we where outside. Whatever. just another Monday in the Northwoods.
Randomize
