Doo rag and shades in the bar. You are missing your future husband.
If I see one more duchette wearing Ed Hardy, but not actually having a real tattoo. I swear Im gonna shank a bitch.
Then we started crawling around on the floor because we couldn't get up so decided to be tigers instead. Gotta love power hour.
he held my hand while i was giving him head. freud's gotta be turning over in his grave
My professor complimented me on the well drawn penis on my face then asked if I would like a seat closer to the garbage can.
who knew i was capable of sobriety and human-like emotions all in the same night?
She can drink whiskey without a chaser and has a fridge full of whipped cream. Girlfriend potential
I wouldn't have puked last night if I didn't inhale straight pepper from you shattering the pepper shaker on the wall.
I made a Wendy's employee say fuck this and quit because I started flipping out due to a baked potato shortage. Of course I had a good night
They're having lesbian sex while I play super mario world. I hope they like the music
Easter was a success. We had an egg hunt and hid weed and conforms inside them. Cooked a ham, made some jello, got wasted. THIS is adulthood?!
I'm doing an Uber ride of shame in a red, white and blue bikini top and America shorts. Good for me.
What good is being a girl if you can't terrorize boys with pregnancy scares??
How'd things go with that guy last night?
He threw up in the consol in my car then started crying about his ex girlfriend.
There were a lot of gay moments in between the Strippers and coke
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