I'm drive I can fine osifer
I cant believe I just managed to do a drug deal across the country for you...
My Hamptons summer hookup resume reads like a walk-in clinic waiting list.
I want my own midget army. I think I would be a good midget army leader.
Just pulled my keys, cell-phone and a pack of cigarettes out from between my cleavage. This one guy's face was priceless.
While I was dancing with him in my foil dress he said, "You're like a Chipotle burrito. Don't worry, that's the best complement you could get from me."
Like... Chilling at home with a movie, hang out? Or have sexual intercourse in the backseat if his car, hang out?
So the same day I accidentally bought waterproof mascara is the day I accidentally had shower sex. The world is finally on my side.
He kept his baseball cap on when he went down on me...
I know it I should, but it's kinda nice. It's smells like unbridled enthusiasm and copious amounts of melt your face off sex.
She yanked on my limp dick and I yelped, to which she slurred something about starting it like a lawn mower
I just hope the day something happens to me my phone just dies, like literally died and will never turn on ever again. I feel like God owes me that much.
your phone died, so you started bawling in the bar
yeah that sounds like me
My vagina is very pro this idea
We were totally high while having sex, I told him fast or slow, just follow your balls. That was a show stopper.
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