its like think what a normal person would think but completely the opposite.
you drank 3/4s of your half gallon of vodka, made a fort out of the kitchen table, and actaually had sex in in it.
I am so 35 right now. Listening to REM, drinking red wine, and crying over an article about ecstasy in oprah magazine.
pretty sure if my vagina had a mouth, it would have been smiling afterwards.
I love that the power of margaritas brought us back together.
Briing, briiing- tricycle ridden. Where is my crown?
Well I pulled a muscle in my leg dancing in the tanning booth drunk at 1 pm soooo there's that
I never thought I would have to get vodka suctioned out of my ear
Can we make 2014 the year of no unsolicited dick pics?
We're fucking and Lee Greenwood God Bless the USA comes on and he came. It was the most Roll Tide America moment of my life.
I have need of you to return home with haste, as I require the magical capsules you possess to relieve the posterior pain I am living. I battle this demon with stubborn grit, however I feel that defeat is on the horizon.
Every time I started to really hate the guys on tinder, the universe throws me a muscly beardy bone.
Okay I'm officially a Texan now, I banged a dude with cowboy boots
I had cheese pancakes which is pretty much just melting cheese in a frying pan and then eating it except youre in denial that your life is a wreck
DIBS on your mom for my beer pong partner.
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