I wonder what it would be like to be a slice of cheese.
You have more facebook pictures than most towns have people.
this one can actually spell my name, that's a shoe-in
I'm fucking an ugly guy. Don't come home.
well now I have to
It was like the Alcoholic Olympics...double fisting fifths with eight 40s in my backpack...running from the cops in stilettos. I will have bitchin' hamstrings come Monday.
YOU'RE HIGH AND AT THE GYM OF COURSE YOU FEEL WEIRD
My thighs feel like glass
Question. There's no better feeling than clean shaven balls. Do girls get that too?
Omg the world wants us to be better people
I refuse
Well waking up naked, covered in Chex mix is not how I planned to start my Wednesday if that's what you're getting at.
We woke up on vday and got high and played frisbee in our living room for a couple hours and then had sex. It was probably the most romantic valentine's day i've ever had
The assignment was about the Industrial Revolution so I just screamed at them in a British accent all day. No, they didn't know I was hungover.
friends who go to the bar together leave the bar together and im not leaving you behind ohana means family
you went over there?
His drunk texts were grammatically perfect. At least our kids will be smart.
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
She's wear your skin crazy! Is it wrong that I'm gonna fuck her 1 more time though?
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