do you remember how we all fit in that bathtub?
tequila
When I'm drunk and can't pee, I sing my abc's in my head and try to pee before I get to pee. Last night I forgot to do it in my head
he's sitting on top of the fridge in only a black speedo and wont get down
Awkward moment #23: reasuring mom that the bf and I aren't having sex as seamen is running down my leg...
In case you were wondering...putting everclear into a humidifier DOES get you really really drunk.
My knee is bleeding. This cheeseburger is the 3rd thing I made out with today and I think I got a job with the ducks. Catalina is poppin
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
Wake your ass up this is a day of horror where we get horroibly drunk and sleep with tandom dudes who wish they were super heros ps i havr stuffed animals over my privates im a petting zoo this year
I can dream in two languages, but it's still about ripping a bong.
One day this summer I just wanna get blown under the hot sun all day.
Deal. Roof-top 69 on Saturday, July 20th. I've got it in my calendar.
Wow i don't think I've had to send this many texts apologizing for my behavior since high school...
hahaha every time i hear a motorcycle i think about that one time you almost died
Thanks for the flashbacks you prick.
The last thing I remember is goading each other into a vodka-chugging competition.
I woke up naked with my work shoes on
Wine is the only reason I'm making it in the real world
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