The guy next to me is watching porn. EVERYTIME I COME TO THE LIBRARY SOME RANDOM GUY NEXT TO ME LOOKS AT PORN.
I'm sorry, but there's just something about mesh over nipples that irks me.
I think they should rename 16 and pregnant to "I was fucked in highschool and all I got was a baby and humiliated infront of the nation on MTV"
you do realize eating doritos and gatorade as a breakfast hangover cure is only acceptable for one more month - then we have to grow up
I waited so long to accept his friend request that he canceled it. So I added him and when he accepted I deleted him. I wonder how long this will be funny to me
My therapist is concerned about your alcoholism.
I lost my grandmas ring. Probably during the handjob.
If I were there, I'd be putting a martini in you, via funnel if need be, and you would be doing this thing.
I don't care if he's straight, his cock will be in my mouth by midnight. Like a closeted Cinderella.
Thanks for stopping me from letting that 14 year old feel my boobs. Thanks.
I don't know what I wash first. My body or my puke painted car. People are judging me as I drive by.
BUT YOU MUST FINISH YOUR QUEST
TO FIND THE HOLY GRAIL
AND GET DRUNK OFF YOUR ASS BY DRINKING OUT OF IT
He kept trying to make out with me but I was just trying to show him Shrek memes
It's not my fault, Tequila turned all my alarms off.
Just think how much she’ll hate me when she finds out I fucked her father
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