3 of us had 22 margaritas. Hellllllo yellow cab. Goodbye morals.
well most of my day revolves around power hour
4 feet of snow. teaching the cats how to snow swim. throwing them off the porch and seeing what happens.
just heard a tri-delta girl talking about her drunken escapades last weekend...it's like the exact plotline to a hardcore porno.
i think maybe i'll just not watch it. i'd rather not think of you as a magical transforming set of dick holes.
In other news, shitting yourself is not an acceptable way to start a Thursday.
One of my friends took me out last night for a bday celebration and I just now remembered that a man blew fire balls across the bar in honor of my birthday... How drunk do you have to be to forget that?
Haha yeah my head's fine..sorry about the dent in your fridge.
True friends don't judge, they just try to have more booty calls than you do.
There's a woman at the bar holding a baby with one arm and doing shots of GM with the other. The baby is crying. I have lost faith in humanity.
Yea. I feel great. My life is great. My job isn't as shitty. And my daddy loves me. I love strip clubs. Great self esteem boost.
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I just fist bumped God in my head for last night. What a bro.
is it acceptable to cross the border for sex?
If me saying "come f***k me now" is talking, then yes.
Randomize
