note to self: Never ask your girlfriend to have a 3some with your ex...
i was so drunk i stopped mid-blowjob to make sure he i was with my boyfriend and not some random. twice.
Truelife: I made out with my ex-boyfriend's girlfriend this weekend. Thank you Captain Morgan...
Was she wearing cherry chapstick??
No. Life's not always a fairytale.....
i think the beer goggles wore off after hearing the story of her 2nd abortion
Would it be weird if I told you I thought of you when I masturbated?
Looks like I'm more than just your Mexico mistake...
I'm deep cleaning my room right now. Not sure if it actually needs it or if I'm just trying to symbolically cleanse myself of the last 24 hours.
Do you think I threw out my left shoulder during the keg stand or the stripper pole? It's medically relevant my chiropractor wants to know.
Is it too early to start a donation jar for my 4th of july hospital bills?
There are cops on horseback in our back yard
Dude, on the way home the cab driver asked why you didn't bring a guy home and referred to you as "one night stand girl"
Now all I have unanswered questions and a fucked up finger
So, looks like I managed to leave my bra in the boardroom after all the sex. FML.
Is it wrong to want to have sex with one guy who's good in bed before going out on a date with a guy I actually like?
After 25 beers and 3 shots my best friend thought it would be an amazing idea to get his dick pierced. We are on our way.
Seriously considering taking a nap at lunchtime in my car. That. Hung. Over.
Randomize
