For a whole 2 minutes you were convinced you were talking to my voicemail
His friends call him "Gasm".... Im going for it.
For once I'm glad there wasn't morning sex. Yes, that sore from the night before.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
Haha! I've never met his girlfriend, so my main focus will be not saying,"you're the only person in this room that doesn't know what my vagina feels like."
Are the homeless actually allowed to bathe in fountains located on Main Street in downtown Houston? Can Houston TX be so progressive as to condone public bathing?
i came home to her naked eating chilli on the living room floor. Stop giving her jager.
Duuuuuuuude, I need you to sleep with my girlfriend so I can tell you both to move out
Great. I will show up in your office wearing only oven mitts later today.
He said that he had extra crunchy taquitos and wanted to go down on me.. I mean how could I say no?
Alas, I cannot find a male suitor sharing my affinity for sport culture who will both manhandle me and treat me with the respect a young Hillary supporter wants and deserves
I now have a "weirdest thing a guy ever did in bed" story. Cut my fingernails.
Yeah I'm gonna need you to stop it right there.I know this is supposed to be a safe space but Imma have to exit.
Weight watchers just said "you've tracked beer three times recently, want to make it one of your favorites?" I'm begining to understand why I needed to go in the first place.
We will discuss everything tomorrow i presume. Including the sweaty naked tango.
It’s a 10 inch dick! Of course I’m getting a Brazilian
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