Just mADE A PArabola og urine
You tend to look at life differently when you wake up to nutella vomit all over your room with no recollection of how it got there
You know how to spell recollection?
Alright I don't know how you'll link it to me but yes I left a nearly empty 12 pack on your trunk
In other words, he somehow found his way to my apartment, wasted, and was naked on my new couch. Completely naked. It was too special to pass up.
He's used the term "balls deep" 3 times in the first hour. Thanks a lot, Plenty of Fish.
Dude i swear to christ if he sends me one more pic of a "magnificent dump" im changing my number
How are you going to come here and fuck on our couch ? That's everyones couch
On duty sugar tits. A Marine never abandons his post to take nudi pics.
Is selling savings bonds for acid money something a normal person does?
Last night I made the hotel shuttle driver take me to Walgreens for birth control, and Pringles.
They were both high priority
I feel like your personal Bdsm barbie...
Im gnna go loik fir my newq gay friuend now
Goodbee
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
Is it weird that I shop for lingerie by thinking if it will look good on both me and your floor?
No. Not at all.
Sorry you saw my balls. Pregame includes a lot of shaving.
Randomize
