no but I have been chillin' like em' homeboys in the rainforest yo!
I'm pretty hammered, I'll elaborate tomorrow
im pretty sure vibrators are the best invention since dinosaur chicken nuggets
he didn't want to fuck because he was too busy skateboarding. what are we 12? I'm too old for this shit.
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The panties match.
I'll be right there.
Let's just say, at one point i got woken up at 4am by a naked guy who was offering me steak, in a cup.
she smells like cat throw up and cupcakes. i'm trying to focus on the cupcakes but it's really. hard.
He sent me a pic of her engagement ring and then STILL asked for nudes.
We're exchanging our favorite porn sites at 9 am. I think this brings our relationship to a whole new level
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I got asked to "be the filling in a man sandwich." You don't get to pick the club again. EVER.
You bring me burritos. Of course I text you during sex
she started chasing me through the forest like a horny serial killer
And to be fair, I think we all suspect that forbidden sex with an outlaw biker might be worth it.
i black out too much to be "responsible"
If I'm not there when the plane leaves, I didn't make it through security. See you at home! Vegas bitches!!!
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